Monday, April 16, 2012

Radiation treatments...

   It's interesting to look back, to see my journey in hindsight as God uses each phase of treatments, each new emotion to teach me and help me grow.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."               Philippians 1:6.


    I have completed 18 out of a 33 radiation treatments. Every morning at 7:45 I arrive, strip off my top and lie down on a hard narrow table. Adjustments are made, then the technicians walk out of a 2 foot thick lead door and leave me there, my arms over my head, lying very still, the machine buzzing and murmuring. Slowly a huge arm of the machine begins to lift up and rotate around my body, ending up inches beside my face, dosing out the radiation that will hopefully keep the cancer from returning. Even though I'm used to it by now, every day it always feels a little scary. So I pray. I imagine that I am lying in God's hands as he cures my cancer. I pray for whomever pops into my mind. And quickly, the treatment is over.


   I celebrated my 45th birthday last month. My amazing husband somehow managed to throw me a surprise party (I was completely surprised!).  It was wonderful, so fun. How do you compare being surrounded by those who love you the most? Loving you and cheering you on... How do you thank everyone? My face hurt from smiling so hard. I love you all so much, you are so important to me!  Thank you.

 And yes! My hair is sprouting!  It is growing, slowly but surely, just like my spirit. I wish it would hurry. I wish it was grown and beautiful. Even in appreciating hindsight, I am impatient!  (Do we ever learn?) As my hair and my spirit grow, I know that I will always be a work in progress, always growing. I thank God for this. Grateful I can grow.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
1 Peter 10