Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I met with the chemo education nurse yesterday. I am a nurse, this was not new information, not really. And yet when it is you who is the patient, somehow everything changes. I am no longer the skilled caregiver, I am now the one reduced to shaking hands, unchecked emotions, and a brain of 'mush'.  I am so afraid, no, I am terrified.  Crying and praying in the shower- "Lord, I just don't want to have to go through this" ....  and then I immediately thought of Jesus on the cross, asking His Father to spare him what he was about to endure...  Today I am afraid, and it is OK.

"Now that in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I kow how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. "
Philippians 4:11-13.

 Today my faith feels small and weak, but I know there are many of you who are praying for me and I know that my wimpy faith and your strong faith will get me through. I know that through this journey of cancer, of fear and suffering, God will teach me, to love Him more, to trust Him more, and to lean on Him - and because of what I will learn, I am confident, my heart will sing with a joy that surpasses understanding. Is there no greater love?

Thank you for your faith and your prayers!  Love,


  1. Laura, This is just so beautiful. So beautiful. The place where your courage runs out, your resources run out, your strength runs out, that is where God meets us and we are able to LET Him provide for us. Isn't that the hard part? ALLOWING Him to be there for us? Because we all think we can do it on our own. I love you, my sweet and beautiful sister. I will not leave your side through any of this. Not for one moment! Just make some room on your floor and don't be suprised when you stumble over me in the morning, because you are NOT ALONE, and none of your beautiful friends will allow you to face this alone. We all love you. - Missy

  2. Hi Laura. I'm one of Missy's friends and I'm praying for you today. I read this verse today and I think it was for you!
    Psalm 29:11
    11 May the Lord give strength to his people!
    May the Lord bless his people with peace!

    Praying HIS peace for you today,